South Africa needs to admit that something about our old approach to the sex question has failed us. Perhaps it is time we consider a new approach. We are tired of hearing about the rape of innocent children and about battered defenseless mothers. We are all tired of reading about the piling bodies of murdered women in the news. We are tired of political speeches, promises and the culture of public condemnation which never yields any real change. We are simply tired. However, I often wonder if we are ready to do what it takes to change the current state of affairs. Are we ready? Are we willing?

Outside of education, there is no real lasting solution to the scourge of gender-based violence. Sex Education is the only approach that does not simply address the consequences of sexual crimes but actively prevents them before they can arise. As South Africans, we must be thankful that the Basic Education Department has introduced Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE) to students as early as Grade 4. UNESCO (The United Nations Education Science and Cultural Organisation) has provided concrete evidence that CSE works.

The International technical guidance on sexuality Education shows that children who receive proper sex education are less likely to commit sexual violence than those children who do not. It also shows that CSE reduces teenage pregnancy, changes bad sexual attitudes, eliminates risky sexual behavior, prevents sexually transmitted infections and promotes gender equality and equity. It is commendable that our schools are moving towards this direction (no matter the many challenges they still face).

Unfortunately, sex education is not complete until it reaches the home. We know that children and young people are also a product of their home environments. For example, research has shown that perpetrators of sexual crimes are people who were either violated as children or grew up witnessing sexual abuses in their homes. Imagine the following scenario. A child at school is taught that masturbation is a physiologically healthy and normal part of growing up. She/he goes home and is told by her parent(s) that touching one’s genitals is a mortal sin. Do you imagine such a child as having a healthy perception of their sexual body or a conflicted relationship with it?

Any large-scale sex education solution cannot be fully realized or become maximally efficient without incorporating the home and its custodians. Mothers, fathers and guardians must be willing to teach their children about sexual intercourse, contraceptives, masturbation, sexual orientation, STI’s, consent, mutual respect, gender and gender transitioning. Parents must be willing to say words like vagina, penis and anus with an attitude that does not rely on fear and shame.

Are we ready? Are we willing? As SERAA we are here to bring the entire family to the table of such discussions. If you are a parent or a guardian but you are not ready to talk to your young ones about sex, we are here to help you become ready. If you are not willing, we hope we can change your mind. South Africa needs to admit that something about our old approach to the sex question has failed us. Perhaps it is time we consider a new approach. Are you ready?

Dr. Yolo Siyabonga Koba – C.E.O.